i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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