Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I believe in your delicious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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