As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
