I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
