I am puke
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
