I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
