my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
