I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
