I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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