If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
