i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
