so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
