Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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