I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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