I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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