the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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