dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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