if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just high enough for therapy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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