It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
