I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
