1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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