Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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