Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
