White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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