I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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