I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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