dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
