your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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