Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize