I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize