I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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