Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
