this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you had me at cake vodka
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
