There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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