I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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