But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
