pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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