there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
