i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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