Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

you can still come hang out if you want

(248): View more from Michigan

I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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(917): View more from New York City

your butthole totally puckers for the ginge

Fav 1 1370 1452
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(703): View more from Virginia

its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

Fav 22 874 5392
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?

Fav 33 6326 1722
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(240): View more from Maryland

I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.

Fav 17 1871 5489
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(907): View more from Alaska

He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.

Fav 15 4769 1258
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

Fav 7 1552 834
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(330): View more from Ohio

That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.

Fav 0 117 5
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