So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize