He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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