Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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