Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
