I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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