Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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