how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
