She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
