I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
