I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
