You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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