I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
