You smell like stripper and shame
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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