If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
