She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
