We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
