But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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