Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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