I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
