doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
