But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
