Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize