My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
