matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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